lalala ~~

so many things to tell you, i got an ipad, a little over a month then bye denmark hello turkey! and soon abonnement to my iphone 4 and now i',m grilling with my family ... lol, taking a break now. hehehehe.

that 'friend', now i can see she is a bætch, like her little sister more. such a cutie. :D

i love how my cousin (girl) comes to me for talking about problems.<3
now we both cry, talking about how our miserable our life is. xD

death note.

sometimes i wish i had a death note, i don't want to kill people, but i wish them bad luck and want them to be in big pain p/f. it's the evil inside me who is talking. there is one girl i want to see in a big pain, i want her to fail, i want her to be hurt like nobody else, i want her to cry and scream my name. yes, i'm gonna get over with it. it's just my big tempher talking.

btw, it's to light, så i can't really see the screen for mistakes, just writting and hoping there isn't mistake, but you can't look at something and don't find a mistake, you can't, it's the same with people.

TOO MUCH!

TO TALK ABOUT! yeh. first, me my sis and my cousin is watching an anime together. He was like, when you come home then let's watch it together! and he is six years old. there is much more to talk about the anime and them, but i don't feel like it. What i've been doing:

Watching anime.
Being with friends.
City 2 - news shoes.
City 2 - Friend
and a lot more things. =)

hmm, really?

it turns out than when i turn one of my best friends to an 'enemy' i really don't care if i have lost that person, wauw, suprised by my self lol. Bte this 'friend' have this SAME FREAKING HAT on all the time, it's annoying to look at, i mean is your confidence in your hat or what? owo srsly, do you even wash that hat? it looks good on you, but girl for the love of the god TAKE THAT DAMN HAT OFF JUST FOR ONE! do you sleep with it? you have two hats, and chancing hats doesn't make you look 'clean' wash your hat and do something else with your hair, srlsy, i get AKJHSDUHFU when i look at you accidently, don't wanna see ya face, it annoys me. -___-

btw, was running away from my 'friends' i didn't want to hear, see or talk to them, really i thought i could run away from them and to my house so i didn't have to ... yeah, talk to them, see them, but they were on their bicycles. .___. ... damn. aish, and the 'myconfidenceandimsoprettyinhatsandidon'twashthemsomyhairgetsalldirty' 'friend' was there too, i didn't want to hear her voice, if she didn 't cycle away i could had thrown something in her hat, she really annoys me ... that bitch. EVERYBODY IS BITCHES! love that world, i say it to all my 'friends'.

aiigo, my friends don't know that i actually don't really care about them, there are only three - weel, now theres only two ... more one, Elif. hahah i remember, this 'hatxfriend' said 'my mission is to get into you, know you really well' and i were like (in my head) - bitch, like i would ever let you in, i'm not stupid ya know, i may seem 'friednly' but trust me i can say goodbye not even blinking!

like i would ever let you in, mission failed, really weak. i knew you inside out already after three weeks, you don't even know me well NOW, hahahaha, loser. MISSION FAILED, JUST LIKE OTHER PEOPLE! my family doesn't even know me well yet, only two people know me pretty well.

I LOVE ONE PIECE! ... random.

aiigo, what friends? lalalalala

i'm not mad, but i have been thinking about this from the very first time i wrote it, i don't think 'i love you' (to my friends, or maye exfriend lol) i think it was too fast saying that, i care about you, only one friend that i love. And about Yin & Yang, no, we're not, i am going to by a 'Yin' necklage to my friend named Louise, and i'm gonna have Yang, we're not best friends, or we're kind off like, you know sisters, but yeah, she's my friend. I think we fit more to Yin & Yang. The other friend, i think you're better with your 'popsmokesdrinkslovesboys friend' from your own class, i don't understand why youre all like 'omg, i wan't invinted to brunch, i'm like part of you guys class too' - yes you are, but lately youve been like 'hi' and then look down, not that you HAVE to be with us, i'm ctually really glad that we don't speak right know, and i'm not sorry about it, i think things jsut got brighter and funnier like you were some unlucky thing in my life, lol, but i'm glad now i spend more time with 'Yin' like i used to before. But back to black (lol jk!) i don't think that you should get angry when were not 'with you' or invite you, you have your own class too, and friends there. Btw i have a feeling that youve smoked, you probably tried your parents cigaretts, i believe so, i don't know if you smoke know and i don't care. i don't hate you, i don't love you, i care about you like an older sister - but right now, i don't even know if i even care about you, i haven't really been thinking of you like 'uuuh ___ i should tell you this' i've been busy, and i think that it's good we don't talk right now. :)

- omg, why is it so easy to hate than love? why do i hate people 1000 more times than i love, why can i hate people so easily? even a good friend i can turn in to my enemy not even blinking ... but to be honest i like it, i like that i can say goodbye easily then 'hi!' i am a person who cary grudges for long time.

you're annoying btw, hate you ~~ who? idk. lol. just wanna hate someone now xD

Screenshots of Daehyun

AAARGH!

YOU! YES YOU! AAAAAAARGH, stop annoying me, this day wasn't good anyway and then coming here and play cool, if you really knew me you would have know that i hate people being like that! i hate it like AASJKFKJF when people is like that to me, answering like that. Just shut up and listen you know it will turn out better like that. Go away, getting on my nerves like that. -.-'

just trying to enjoy my 2NE1, so don't write to me!!!!

Don't listen, fine, your problem!

yes, when people don't listen to me it turns bad for them some times, i mean, i told my friend "DON'T break up with him, i knwo you wil regret it, i know it, just wait a day more, okay?" and she didn't listen, broke up with him, it turned out she still ahd feelings for him, he didn't talk to her, didn't even wanted to be her friend anymore, so yeah, your bad. And i could give you more examples. I said to my two friends who were hurt or something with some other friend in class, and i told them "it's her who keeps messing things up, just let her for one sake come to YOU guys, you keep bowing your head for her that's why it's easy for her to hit it, wait and later talk to her, and not like 'sorry, we love you, but ehm, nevermind, let's be best friends forever uuh see a unicorn aaah ~~ <3" NO. Still, they bowed their head for her, she did the same thing again, they were getting hurt, and then i'm like "gtfo, don't ask me for advice when you won't listen" ARGH. And really i'm 'mean' - not actually i'm myself, and i won't lie when they are looking bad in a dress, but sometimes, when i see that a thing really means a lot to them i can say it in a sweeter way - but still, no matter how many freaking times i've helped them and cleaned their asses for them they stil are like, yeye Yuki, fuck you let me be friends with you!

yes, 'friends' get my help and then give me the middle finger and say 'chiaoo, i'm going to be with my other friend, and the friend that didn't really help me, and soemtimes being and ass' yes, do that, i can just say fuck you! i'm not gonna hold any contacts nor help you anymore either so fuck off. Yes, bye.

Just one friend, i think no matetr how much we're getting angry at each other we still come back to each other (now i think about it, always her making mistakes, but the thing i like is that she is saying and in front of a other friend too 'yes, it was me being and idiot' which i think the others should learn to say, i'm not saying, i'm perfect and the whole world hates me, and being a drama-queen or like i'm the good one always, no, it's not like that)

so, Louise, i'm probably gonna hate you, really much, and think you are an idiot from time to time, but hopefully (like it always ends) it will be a good ending. ahhaha, love that they all say 'BERFIN YOU HAVE TO COME TO MY WEDDING, AND WE HAVE TO COME TO YOURS! ... well, we can't picture you with a man (not that i'm gay! it's just, erh, i'm not the kind of girl that's like uuuuh i ahve a boyfriend - byw i'm muslim - so, why lose your virginity to 'your true love' in elementary school, like wtf?! you don't even know what love is yet, wait, some people still doesn't know when they grow older, but still, boyfriends and girlfriends now?! omg, you guys are still a child, you watch the grown ups and do exactly what they do, you are hurting yourself more because of 'boyfriends' and 'girlsfriends', it's your fault for getting hurt, not other people!


puuh, i know i blogged a lot, one after anaother, but really i had to get my thoughts out, and i haven't blogegd for a while, so now it all comes out. heh. so what, it's mu blog, screw you!

Bad dreams.

yes, i have been dreaming about me fainting (in two dreams) and about cancer too, and that my little cousin getting really sick (sick like close-to-death-sick) and yeah, i really don't know what those dreams trying to tell me, or it's obvious but i don't know if it's just bad dreams or if it really is trying to say something too me. One i dreamed about falling from my skates and i did the next day, i just when i was at the end about to fall i just knew i was going to fall, and just 'opened my arms to it' - lol, yeah - i fell pretty bad, but still i didn't cry (well, i felt two times that day btw, still didn't cry, BADASS, lol) it was like, it hurted, but in a way it didn't ...

Probably don't gonna believe this anyway ...

- oh! and my aunt, she dreamed one about a boy in a water, dead, and the place where he was ... flowing, or something, the next day they found the dead boy exactly where she dreamed him being. And my grandmother - my dad's mom - i love her - she have had many dreams too, and esp. about us, where my little cousin something happened to him, he was in Turkey with his dad and his mom was in Denmark, then my grandmother said to her: "I had a dream about your son, go to Turkey! NOW! you have to go, i have a bad feeling" you know what, it turns out he was in a car accident ... yes, creepy huh? believe it ot not. And there is many times where i figure a lot of things out just by face expression or body movement i figure out what they a thinking about or yeah ... my two friends thought that TMNT (which doesn't exicst anaymore, fuck it btw) were getting too much (the one was the girl who started it all and made us make a song or sing TMNT Theme song) and then she fucking told US that we were overreacting?!? like wtf?!? anyway i knew something was wrong, when these two girls took a step fourther than us - like srsly, they just walked in front of us - and i asked them about if they were trying to 'escape' from us, because they throught it was too much and they were like "how the fuck did you know that?!"

it's wrong.

yes, that word keeps coming to my mind when i cry, i don't really cry often but when i do i feel like it's wrong, i don't cry when i hit my head og something like that, just so you know, well, sometimes the pain is too big, so maybe one day i will cry when my head or leg or arm hurts. Hm. Am i the only one who things that? i hate showing feelings, really, i don't like it, i HATE crying, it feels so wrong, and i feel weak and if there really is something that i really hate is me feeling weak. Yes, true, sometimes it feels good getting all the emotions out in tears (btw, poeple who cut do than instead of hurting yourself, read my words when i say: STOP CUTTING! and eh read what i wrote ... a little long time ago, about bullying, cutting etc.) Aish. i Know i'm not the only one feeling like that.

btw, my english isn't that good and there is some parts where i write really ... yeah, i'm really tired right now, and something is borthering me, i don't know what it is,that feeling have been there before, something, i want to say something, idk ... hm.

One friend

i think only ONE friend of mine will i hold the contact with, we talked about it and we both were like "yes, we HAVE to hold contact to each other even after 10th grade!" and to be honest, she is probably the only one that i want to hold contact with, but when i write og say or we both say i want to hold contact to you, it always ends up to be the exact opposite, i really don't know why it always happens ... aish. Still writing this though, anyway. We both are people who doesn't show feelings too much so saying that we still wanna be friends after elementary school whows that we really do care about each other. We are different but in a way we are the same, fire and water, yin and yang ... yes, Yin & Yang really do suit us, i think out of all my friends, we are like yin and yang, we balance each other, our 'power' can't work without each other, okay, not like, omg i''m dying to see you, but like sometimes we really need to talk to each other, like she always ask me for my oppinion and she wants advice from me and stuff like that, i know what she's been though and she know what i'm being though, she know how i really feel about the bullying, us, we know each other very well, and she has seen my weak and strong sides and i her. I have seen her cry while other people may not have seen her cry, even her boyfriend, and she has seen me cry, real emotions.

I always thought you were the best 
I guess I always will. 
I always thought that we were blessed 
And I feel that way still. 
Sometimes we took the hard road 
But we always saw it through. 


If I had only one friend left 
I'd want it to be you. 


Sometimes the world was on our side 
Sometimes it wasn't fair. 
Sometimes it gave a helping hand 
Sometimes we didn't care. 
'Cause when we were together 
It made the dream come true. 


If I had only one friend left 
I'd want it to be you.


Someone who understands me 
And knows me inside out. 
Who helps keep me together 
And believes without a doubt, 
That I could move a mountain 
With someone to tell it to. 


If I had only one friend left 
I'd want it to be you.


Someone who understands me 
And knows me inside out. 
Who helps keep me together 
And believes without a doubt, 
That I could move a mountain 
With someone to tell it to. 


If I had only one friend left 
I'd want it to be you. 

Alone

Some times being alone isn't a bad thing, you won't get through drama and all that kind of stuff that's in life. I like being alone to be honest, sometimes i want to be with friends other times (most of the times) just sit in my room watching something or just listening to music. Really. Friends backstabbing, familyproblems and all that kind of stuff, maybe it's just me ... hm.

two lonely/alone songs:

SISTAR - Alone
2NE1 - Lonely (love this!<3)